Manila, Philippines — Dealing with a heartbreak after a romantic relationship is over is one of the hardest things to do foreal. But just like any other hardships, it is a part of life that most people just have to go through and conquer.

Young couple with broken heart shape looking at each other. stock photo

If you are one of the millions of people in the world who are currently going through a shattering romantic heartbreak right now, then we hope this read can be a little helpful for you. We have talked to Rea Celine Villa, Senior Psychologist at Mind You, to learn more how can we practically navigate getting over a heartbreak:

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Allow yourself to feel, don’t stifle your emotions 

“Sometimes it can be tempting to try and stifle the grief and anger that came about as an effect of your heartbreak, but ignoring these feelings might make it even worse. Learn how to process and accept your feelings,” Rea shared.

Some people find that using a journal to deal with mixed emotions helps clear up a lot of the confusion in their minds, so it might be an effective way for you to truly feel through your feelings, process them, accept them and let them go eventually. Do not rush the healing process, because it is in this phase that you can actually learn more about relationships, and what you want and do not want out of them. Plus you can get to know yourself more, which is a process that can help to love yourself more.

Don’t isolate yourself 

“Most people tend to isolate themselves when they are feeling hurt or depressed. Surrounding yourself with the people who love and support you can help fill the gap that was once occupied by the source of your heartbreak,” she said.

Take this phase as a cue to hang out more with your parents, sibings or friends. Do a little catching up with your loved ones so you would have the opportunity to take your mind off the stress, or even to vent out to them the pain you are going through. People who love you are ready to listen.

Take care of your physical self

Here are some things that you can do: “Eating regular meals, staying away from substances like alcohol, and getting enough sleep to provide the body with enough energy and nutrients to help the brain start the healing process.”

“Engage in physical activity. The happy endorphins and hormones that strenuous exercise releases into your body can help expedite the process of healing, and you will soon find that the heartbreak that you felt doesn’t feel as bad as it did in the beginning.”

Don’t be tempted to find another person to fill the void

“There will be times when it is tempting to jump into another relationship shortly after one has just ended. While people will move on in different ways and speeds, it’s important to just take some time to yourself to recenter your personal goals and personal needs,” the psychologist said.

While it is tempting to hook up with a rebound, it can be defeating to deal with another relationship when you have not even processed yet your pain. This is the time to ideally love yourself more, and to focus on that.

Don’t be tempted to keep stalking them on social media

“You might be tempted to keep checking on their accounts as a way of coping with the feelings, but this can actually make it worse. It’s important to just respect the boundaries and privacy of the other party and leave them be,” she added.

Stylish Magazine: How can one regain one’s sense of self again after a heartbreak?

Grief divorce couple holding broken heart. Unhappy relationship hurt feeling for lover. valentine concept. stock photo

“In long relationships, the tendency is that the two people involved have their lives so intertwined with each other that the loss of the relationship feels like losing some part of yourself too. Research has shown that the more you were in love with your partner, the harder it was to maintain a healthy self-concept,” the psychologist said.

Here are some tips from the Mind You Senior Psychologist that can help you recenter yourself and remind yourself of what matters:

Return to what you value

“Remember your purpose and your goals. If you had shared goals, you can still pursue those goals even without them. Make small changes every day; drastic changes might be counterintuitive. Setting small goals that align you with your ultimate goals can help keep you on the right track.”

Find new interests and hobbies, or do what you love with other people

“The tendency of people in relationships to share hobbies and interests can be difficult. Doing what you used to do together, alone, might make it difficult for you to enjoy it again. If you need some help to make it more comfortable for you to return to, you can ask a friend who’s interested in giving it a go. Alternatively, you can always find new hobbies to try.”

Talk to a friend about it

“Talking to someone you trust about these frustrations can help you make sense of what happened. Having a friend to reflect on your experiences can also help recenter you and remember your positive qualities as a person.”

Be kind to yourself

“Though it may seem that other people move on from breakups really quickly, don’t be disheartened if it takes you some time to do the same. Try to minimize negative self-talk, and remember that you are a whole person who deserves love and happiness outside of your heartbreak. Engage in physical acts of self-care like pampering yourself or buying yourself something nice.”

Talk to a therapist

“It may help for you to talk to a therapist who can help you unlearn the irrational or unhelpful thinking patterns you adopted during the relationship/break-up.” 

Mind You is an organization that offers mental health support through therapy services. Follow Mind You on Instagram @mindyoumhs.

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